They danced.......

Saturday, October 14th was bright and sunny, so the dream did come true. The rehearsal dinner on Friday night was a great success and the official kick-off for a full weekend. That night the bride took the traditional room at the hotel while the groom stayed home with family.
When I was the mother of two brides the role was very clear. They had their wedding day planned down to the last detail. Whereas for this wedding, Conor was making things happen in his usual, casual manner. He had invited "the boys" (wedding party and cousins) over to the house to get dressed and maybe have a toast or two. It was a 3:oo pm wedding and the officiant, good friend Eric, arrived around noon. Conor and Eric reviewed the wedding vows that Conor had written. I typed and printed them out. The three of us then had the first toast with Jameson Irish Whiskey!
Around 1:30 pm the rest of the wedding party arrived in jeans and tee shirts, holding huge, black tuxedo bags and shiny patton leather shoes. Most of these boys were the childhood sleepovers, that I followed around in the morning to make sure they had all their "stuff" .... jackets, boots and retainers. They sat out in the back yard and roared with laughter. They told stories, had sandwiches and finished off the Jameson. They were good to go !!
In a flurry they dressed, helped each other with ties and decided how many buttons the vest would need. My job description as mother of the groom was defined spontaneously. It was perfect.

Sarah arrived with spectacular beauty. Her sister was maid of honor and my two daughters were bridesmaids. I remembered the two wedding days that I had spent with each of my daughters while they dressed and wished I could have been in two places at the same time. But Sarah had her family and friends and it sounded like they created their own memories..

Conor would say "I do" after each of the four vows that he had written and Eric recited to the guests:

Do you vow to take her advice on wardrobe related issues, appearance and general hygiene? I do...

Do you vow to willingly accept her abnormally frigid feet and hands and provide warmth during the winter months? I do...

Do you vow to explain a joke quietly to her when out to dinner with friends? I do..

Do you vow to be a faithful, loving husband, a beacon of strength and continue to admire Sarah's beauty, unwavering kindness and all the magnificent enduring qualities that make her unique?

He said "I do"

I Hope They Dance

October 14th is just a few days away. Family and friends will be arriving this week. Sarah is already here, with wedding dress and a glowing smile. Conor will be flying in from Colorado on Tuesday, landing around 2:30 pm. If we make it from Logan Airport to the Hamilton Town Hall before closing time, they will get their wedding license just by the deadline of four days prior to wedding. We try not to sweat the small stuff !!!

Mid October was always a risk for an outdoor ceremony, but exchanging vows in view of the sea was always the dream . The day will be spectacular. That's how dreams turn out.

Lynch Park, along the North Shore of Boston ... The wedding site.

The final selection for mother/groom dance will be: I hope you dance .

"MY" dream for Conor and Sarah will always be: If they have the chance to sit it out or dance, I hope they always choose to dance.

I love you best...

A week from this Saturday my youngest child and only son will marry. His bride will make a wonderful addition to our family. We all love Sarah. These past few weeks Conor's sisters and I have been looking through old photos to make a wedding video. Maybe that's what is causing this constant lump in my throat! We have also been listening to groom/mother dance songs. Maybe that is why I keep humming childhood lullabies.

The picture of Conor in his Superman costume, or rollerblading down the street, I'm fine with. The one of him sitting on the bench during a high school basketball game..that's the hard one. The pictures remind me that no matter how hard we try, we can't make everything perfect for our children. Not healthy anyway.

My girls, Amy and Stacy, have teased that Conor is my favorite. I've tried to explain to them that a mother does not have favorites. Conor was the last, and he was a boy after two girls. He smiled and laughed constantly. What's not to love?
I dug out an old newspaper column that I had saved for many years. The author was an anonymous mother. I hope that each of my children feel that "they" were the one I loved best!!

Dear First Born:
I've always loved you best because you were our first miracle. You were the genesis of a marriage and the fulfillment of young love. You sustained us through the hamburger years, the first apartment ( furnished in early American poverty), our first mode of transportation (1965 feet) and the 7 inch TV we paid on for 36 months. You had new and unused grandparents and enough clothes for a set of triplets. You were the original model for a mom and dad. You got the strained lamb and the open pins and 3 hour naps. You were the beginning.

Dear Middle Child:
I've always loved you best because you drew a tough spot in the family and it made you stronger for it. You cried less, had more patience, wore faded hand-me-downs, and never in your life did you do anything first. But it only made you more special. You were the one we relaxed with and realized that a dog could kiss you and you wouldn't get sick. You could cross the street long before you could get married. You helped us understand the world would not collapse if you went to bed with dirty feet. You were the child of our busy,ambitious years. Without you we could never have survived the job changes and the tedium routine that is marriage.

To the Baby:
I've always loved you best because while endings are generally sad, you were such a joy. You readily accepted the milk stained bibs, the lower bunk, the cracked baseball bat, the baby book with nothing written in it except a recipe for a graham cracker pie crust that someone had jammed between the pages. You were the one we held onto so tightly. You are the link to the past, a reason for tomorrow. You quickened our steps, squared our shoulders, restored our vision and gave us a sense of humor that security and maturity could not provide. When your hairline takes on the shape of Lake Erie and your own children tower over you, you will still be our baby.
- A Mother-